I found this piece in my story file Wednesday, 3/13/19. It was written on 6/16/16. Time had dulled my memory of the sickness, but nearly three years later, I can still recall the delight of being so close to the Lord in the midst of this trial.
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So much of the time, life veils what truly is—we’re so busy with human doings that we don’t slow down enough to be human beings. This past week I had the opportunity to luxuriate in time with the Lord. It came disguised in fits of fever and choking so severe I could barely catch my breath. I know my abs are tighter now, thanks to the assault the coughing made on them.
Unable to lift my head off pile of pillows, I entered a state of nothingness—indescribable calm. I remember a phonecall from my friend, Vicki. “How are ya doing?” She asked.
I said, “I feel so patient. I believe I’m experiencing a glimpse of Heaven.” God’s peace was enveloping me. There were no clear thoughts, no effort. I was simply being who He had made me to be…yes, a woman taken ill…yet in the stillness my identity emerged. I am God’s blessed child…a daughter of The King…the apple of His eye…created to be His…to give Him glory!
I had been given this time to simply be. As the fever raged on, silence was my blanket—darkness, my friend. The days and nights inched by like a meandering stream. When Thursday morning came, I realized it had been five days since I’d read the Bible, or anything for that matter, but while God is seldom early, he’s always right on time.
That morning I felt refreshed, but slightly off. There was Satan’s old familiar haunt, “You’re-not-enough,” nipping at my heels. Not horrible, just edgy. I could feel the fear beginning to wrap around me. Suddenly, the book, Jesus Calling popped into my mind, and when I opened it to June 16 here’s what I read:
“Stay on the high road with Me. Many voices clamor for your attention, trying to divert you to another path. But I have called you to walk ever so closely with Me, soaking in My Presence, living in My Peace.”
Suddenly, I knew that those down days in my darkened room had been a gift—one that God had created just for me. I read on. ”What I require of you is to act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with Me—wherever I lead.”
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Thank you, Lord for leading me to the luxury of time with You. Even in the midst of sickness, You led me not only to a return to health, but, more importantly, to a re-awakening in my spirit. May this testimony reveal my heart of gratitude to You. Your Word says: “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)
May we each do the good things You planned for us long, long ago, but best of all may we be with You as You light our days.